4 Steps & 4 Questions to Stop Complaining and Start Being Positive
Admit it, we spend most of our day complaining about one thing or another. Whether it’s about not getting enough sleep, or someone did something that you are not happy about, or someone not taking his or her responsibilities, or our management being extra demanding. Our mind is usually plagued by negative thoughts.
Complain amplifies the destructiveness of the frustration about which we’re complaining. In fact, the more we complain, the more likely the frustration will increase. We think that we are releasing stress, but in reality, repeated complaining releases the stress hormones, which damage our mental health. So, how to give up this unhealthy habit and start being more positive?
4 Easy Steps to Stop Complaining
The tricks for doing so are quite simple but require concentration. Think about what is really happening. The simplest trick is probably the Stop and Replace Technique, which you can do in just 4 easy steps:
S – Stop for a moment. Ask yourself to hold on, step back as an observer to look at the situation from a distance.
T – Take a deep breath, then let it out slowly. Concentrate on inhaling and exhaling. This splits of second gives you time to calm down.
O – Observe your body, mind, and surroundings. Open up your senses of sight, sound, smell, touch, and taste. Notice that you can stay grounded even in difficult situations.
P – Proceed with positive thoughts by dismissing the negative ones. Decide what you can best do or respond. If involving another person, shift from complaining to telling the other person about the impact he/she is having, share your feelings and find out a solution together.
Repeat this little exercise every time you find yourself having negative thoughts or complaining, either mentally or verbally.
4 Questions that Can Change Your Life
Another technique you can use is from the book “Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life” by Byron Katie. Every time you find yourself having a negative thought, write it down, and apply the questions to it.
The questions are:
1. Is it true? (Is the thought true?)
2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true?
3. How do you react when you believe that thought?
4. Who would you be without that thought?
You will soon find out how you are wasting your emotional energy on worrying about trivial things. Learn to be aware of your own mind chat and dismiss the negativity from your thoughts, and instead adopt a more positive attitude in your life! The important thing is to be kind and gentle towards yourself, and so as others.